Tina, the scrum master, noticed her long-time developer teammate, Roger, seemed dispirited lately. She asked him if he wanted to chat.  He did. Here they are in a 1:1. “Look, I am just here to collect a paycheck,” he says.  Roger’s comments confirm the behaviors she has observed for quite some time; she is inwardly shocked that he has spoken those words out loud. She feels anger both at Roger and at herself for having ignored his low performance and disengagement, its impact on the team.   She has to take off the rose-colored glasses and be honest with herself and with Roger. She cannot pretend everything is fine when it is not.

Tina considers 3 parts to the conversation she wants to have:

• She can get curious and seek to understand Roger’s point of view if her goal is purely to make sure Roger feels seen and heard. She can prompt him with the question, “How did it get this way?” In this 1:1, Tina and Roger, peers, colleagues, are not in a coaching relationship. i.e. Roger has not asked to be coached. He wanted to vent.  She is not obligated to offer feedback, only acknowledgement of Roger’s feelings and point of view. 

• She can offer Roger feedback on how his statement impacts her. First though, Tina should ask him if she has his permission to share her perspective.  If Roger is open to her point of view she can share why his statement saddens and frustrates her, namely given her concerns about how his mindset is adversely affecting the team. 

• She can offer Roger her perspective on how his current mode may affect his career. First though, Tina should ask him if she has his permission to share her point of view.  She can share that she has observed this “just here to collect a paycheck” mindset in action through recent examples. She can share her concern for how his performance may affect his career and offer encouragement for him to explore coaching. 

Tina can keep their conversation confidential and not share any of this with his manager or hers. She is genuinely interested in her teammate and wants to help.  She should ask herself “What’s important? What really matters here?”  Tina has a minimum responsibility to her colleague to provide him with candid feedback. 

She takes a slow deep breath to calm herself, takes off her rose-colored glasses, sets them on her desk, steadies her gaze, and begins.  “Tell me more, Rog. How did it get this way?”